Being the thoroughly modern chap that I am, I use Facebook. This is partly a business thing, but I find it’s also pretty useful for staying in touch with people who otherwise had passed completely out of my life since I upped sticks and came to the countryside. Old friends from the days of my youth have suddenly reappeared, in the form of status updates and thumbnail photographs. I’d consider this an entirely good thing, but there’s an awful lot of nonsense that goes along with it. Join your friends on Farmville! How many of the TOP 100 MOVIES have you seen? Take the quiz!

So basically, it’s a procrastination tool of the most exhaustive and peculiar sort. Recently, I deigned to actually fill in a top 100 British films list, but instead of enjoying the nostalgia that comes from remembering films I enjoyed watching and making a mental note to catch the ones I missed, I found myself getting annoyed at the ones that didn’t appear on the list. “What? No Ice Cold In Alex? Who made this thing?!” Then I started to get competitive, trawling through the walls of friends to see whose score was highest, and before I knew it an hour had passed by and I suddenly realised how much of a waste of time the whole enterprise was.

But, as you may know, it’s not just quizzes and “Who’s done X/seen Y?” There are games, too. “Beat your friends at Farmville/Space War/Penguin Throwing etc” Is our species naturally this competitive? I would argue that we are, since the internet has allowed instant contact with billions of others all over the planet. Now we have this ability to communicate so widely, all the social elements and the games we play can be done online. We’re simply using a tool to do what we’ve always been doing, writ large. The mantra seems to be “let’s do it, now we can”.

Then of course there’s the advertising. I know the idea is that it’s targeted to your interests, which is why I often find adverts offering outdoor clothing and days out at the side of my profile. As well as Christian dating websites (which completely baffles me, as I am neither religious nor single, and it says as much on my profile. Sort your algorithms out, Zuckerberg). I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I suppose it’s natural for the advertisers and the companies who employ them to make as much use of a new technology as much as anyone. But at the same time, it feels somewhat invasive. I have submitted a list of my interests and I mention things in status updates that I think would be of interest to my friends, not to advertisers. I’m sure that –if asked directly, rather than in ambiguous small print- I would not have given permission for my information to be used in this way.

I raised this issue with some young, computer-savvy friends of mine and unintentionally started an argument amongst them. Some argued that increased use of information by all is necessary and indeed laudable on the road to true integration of society. Others felt that the use of online personal details by advertisers constitutes a breach of privacy. This went on for some time, slowly going further over my head, so I defused the situation neatly by offering to get the round in. Admittedly, and perhaps obviously, this is not my area of expertise. It’s one of the many things about which there is on going and vociferous debate that’s simply too much for me to fully engage with.

A terrible thing to say, but my interests lie elsewhere. I see it as a useful tool for staying in touch with people and promoting the things that I do. And anyway, I have some plants to water in Farmville.

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